Shell jokes

Here are some jokes Linux has under the hood.

% "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?

Unmatched ".



% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

Missing ].



% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?

Modifier failed.



% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?

Too many ('s.



% make love

Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.



% sleep with me

bad character



% got a light?

No match.



% man: why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.



% ^What is saccharine?

Bad substitute.



% %blow

%blow: No such job.



% \(-

(-: Command not found.



% sh



$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense

no sense in pretending!



$ drink < bottle; opener

bottle: cannot open

opener: not found



$ mkdir matter; cat > matter

matter: cannot create



(First add an /etc/hosts alias of 'elvis')

$ ping elvis

elvis is alive.

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