Shell jokes

Here are some jokes Linux has under the hood.

% "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?

Unmatched ".



% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

Missing ].



% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?

Modifier failed.



% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?

Too many ('s.



% make love

Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.



% sleep with me

bad character



% got a light?

No match.



% man: why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.



% ^What is saccharine?

Bad substitute.



% %blow

%blow: No such job.



% \(-

(-: Command not found.



% sh



$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense

no sense in pretending!



$ drink < bottle; opener

bottle: cannot open

opener: not found



$ mkdir matter; cat > matter

matter: cannot create



(First add an /etc/hosts alias of 'elvis')

$ ping elvis

elvis is alive.

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Cool command

The other day while was working in office in UNIX, also feeling quite bored. A funny command struck my mind. I just tried and it works. The command is "ls -flirt". UNIX is cool, you can literally flirt with it. -)

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Weird dream!

The other night when I was asleep, obvious!

I imagined myself on a plane, flying abroad to the U.S. Well the strange thing I saw was a goddamn huge sea serpent trying to grab the plane which I was flying on. Well, this thing was huge. Our pilot with a lot of stunts was trying to get out of reach from the serpent(The funny thing is yet to come). I get an idea all of a sudden. I took my digi-cam from my bag and shot a 20 sec video of the sea serpent trying to get hold of the plane. None else got this idea.
Eventually I reach my bro's house in U.S. safe and sound.

First thing I did after getting home was to sign up with Google add sense and have it on my website as well as my blog. As I had the only visual proof of the serpent I uploaded the video on my web site as well as my blog, which has Google add sense all over it now. Then, smartly, I mailed the link to cnn and bbc. I also dugg the link and also posted in technorati. The next week checked my bank account online and found it had freak'n 5 lkhs...... I was enjoying staring at my bank account on the screen when my damn alarm rung, it was time for my morning shift!!!